Did you have to go through some sort of pre-marital counseling before you got married? If so, you probably had to meet with the priest/preacher performing your ceremony, and I’ll bet one of the first topics you touched on was your husband’s role as a leader.
The preacher my husband and I met with first spoke to us about his role as the spiritual leader in our relationship. This is probably the biggest area in which my husband and I stray from the norm. He was raised in the Catholic church, and is a little quieter about his faith. I was raised in a Christian church, and am more open about my faith. For this reason, I’ve stepped into the role of leader in this aspect of our relationship.
I think traditionally the wife handles the finances in a marriage. She does the grocery shopping, pays the bills, monitors the bank accounts. My husband and I are backward here too. I may take care of the groceries, but that’s about it. My husband has a great organizational system that he uses to remind himself what bills are due on what day of the month. In our relationship, he’s taken the financial leadership role.
In the 1950’s picture I have painted in my head, the wife is inclined to keeping up the house. I think women tend to be more organized, so cleaning around the home may just come more naturally to us. For the longest time, my husband did the majority of our house work. He was good at it and didn’t complain about it, so I was more than happy to let him do it! Then I got pregnant, started nesting, and have done most of the cleaning ever since.
I think it is natural for us to fall into some traditional “husband and wife” roles. Whether it was the way we were raised, personality traits that make us more inclined to lead in different aspects, or our human nature, we all lead in our own way. It’s important to make sure your roles compliment each other, so that you’re not butting heads trying to each lead in your own direction. Have you paid attention to the roles you’ve taken on in your relationship, and do they follow or stray from tradition?