How to Include the Groom in Wedding Planning


When it comes down to wedding planning most could agree the majority of decision making tends to fall on the bride.  Now, I’m not here to put down our grooms or cause tension between any engaged couples.  But rather to explain and enlighten brides on why the grooms tend to leave all the decision making to them.



Wedding planning, the planning of every aspect of your special day; from the ceremony to reception, dates, locations, decor, attire, rentals, food, music, guests ect.  This might as well be a foreign language to your groom.  When you start a discussion about dress styles, ball gowns vs. tea lengths, floral options, roses vs. hydrangeas, you’ve  probably lost them within the first 5 minutes if not the first 5 words.

You’re not only in speaking in a foreign language to them you’re in a foreign country.  When in their lives have our guys had to think about dress lengths, floral options and centerpieces?


Narrow it down

When it comes down to flowers, decor and wedding details keep this tip in mind.  Once you’ve exhausted all your resources of wedding how tos and asked the opinions of your maid of honor and/ or brides maids, narrow your options down to two choices.  Then consult your groom on the final decision.  They will still feel as though they got to play a role in the decision making with out having to be overwhelmed by all the details.


Go over the basics

Men get the basics; what shirt are they going to wear out, where are you going for dinner.  These are common things they are going to consider before going out.  Translate this into your joint wedding planning efforts.  What time of year do you want to get married, indoors or outdoors, go over a list of possible locations.

Make sure and include your groom in planning the big and basic wedding day decisions; it is important that they are able to play a role in planning for the big day you both will say I do.


Involve food


If you want their full attention speak their language, the language of food.  While most grooms aren’t going to find much interest in planning floral options for your wedding day they will perk up at the discussion of food.  Once you both have narrowed down a few options for your reception menu set up an appointment with your caterer to do a little taste testing.

Turn your afternoon of taste testing into a date.  When you’re done at the caterers go see a movie or enjoy a long walk together.  It’s easy to get carried away with wedding planning details.  You need to remember to set time aside for the both of you, so you can keep in mind the reasons why you are getting married.

Engage Your Groom

Every engaged couple is different; and the role each one of them plays in their wedding planning is going to be different.  You might have a very eager groom that is happy to help with any aspect of your wedding planning even down to those details of choosing flowers and decor.

For those of you who are having a little struggle with your husband to be’s level of involvement remember these tips; narrow it down, go over the basics, involve food and remember to set aside time for each other.  Help out your groom as they take that journey into the foreign lands of wedding planning.  With a little forethought and creative thinking you will be able to get them playing an active role in your wedding planning and not have to worry about everything falling on your shoulders.  Remember you are planning for the big day that you both will say I do.

Don’t forget great sites like and to help the men of the wedding party through all the wedding planning stages.  They offer advice from how to write your speech to earning brownie points with your father in law.

And don’t forget to include your groom’s style into your wedding florals, check out our DIY wedding boutonniere post from Thursday for your how-to guide.

One comment

Comments are closed.