Money is commonly known as the leading cause of divorce. While your relationship with your in-laws may not cause you to divorce, it can sure put some tension on your marriage! Even if you get along great with your spouse’s parents, you’re bound to encounter a bump in the road at some point.
I met my husband when I was 9 years old, & we’ve known each other’s families just as long. When you’re just friends, your parents are background figures in your relationship. They exist to enforce your curfew and to provide a cool place for your friends to converge; that’s about it. When you’re dating, you may have dinner with them from time to time, but their role in your life still has a minimal effect on your significant other’s life. Once you’re married, all of that changes as you get not only a husband or wife, but some in-laws too!
My husband and I both love our mothers-in-law dearly. However, there are definitely things about each of our moms that drive us crazy. The most important thing that I remind myself of all the time is that this is OUR marriage. No matter how many directions we feel pulled by our families, we have to make decisions based on what is best for OUR relationship.
We have learned to keep an open line of communication regarding our in-laws. This can be difficult because neither of us wants to hurt the other’s feelings. If we don’t, though, those little nuances that annoy us will build, turn toxic, and start some pretty heated arguments between us.
We’ve learned to set boundaries in order to keep our marriage healthy. Nobody wants a mother-in-law who’s constantly at your house and in your business. Setting boundaries early makes for a happier relationship later on.
You may have to pick your battles, but remember to stick up for each other if there’s something about your parents that really bothers your spouse. When your in-laws are questioning how you run your home, why you stray from their traditions, etc., your ride home will be a lot smoother if you’ve felt supported by your husband or wife.
Marriage is one of the most sacred institutions in life. It can be as strong as you make it, but it takes work. Don’t let your in-laws unnecessarily interrupt your wedded bliss!